Cocky Dutch
I had a couple from Rotterdam the other day. I brought them out on a game drive in the morning and then on to Moholoholo in the afternoon. The guy was a pain in the arse from the start. He wouldn’t listen to me about standing up in the vehicle and when I got off the vehicle to see a beautiful female Rhino and calf he started walking towards them with his video camera and scared them off! Meanwhile it started belting down with rain and the enjoyment soon seeped away from the trip. We saw some beautiful birds and antelope but Ronald from Rotterdam only wanted to see the big stuff! This attitude continued for the whole drive and then when I drove them to Moholoholo(a rehabilitation centre for animals) he wouldn’t listen to the guide there and kept holding the guide up at different stages.
I had had enough of him at this stage but I had to drive him back to the lodge and then sit with him for dinner. He also had this hair brained scheme that he brought over a set of soccer jerseys from his son’s team that he wanted to donate to the “orphans,” in the local village. He expected me to organise a photocall with him giving the orphans the jerseys. I told him that the orphans in the village would probably be too small for his gift considering they are all either babies or a couple of years old. I suppose the intention was good but I think he just liked the idea of seeing himself in a picture with some poor black kids.
The next day the same vein continued. I brought him and his wife on a game walk and I decided at that stage after he kept me waiting for 15 minutes for the second morning in a row to play with him a bit. I showed him a couple of insects and then he thought he could go and pick up whatever he saw on the ground. At one stage I saw this caterpillar like insect. I’ve seen plenty of them before and they’re actually a beetle larvae. They look really hairy and not very dangerous looking so next thing I see this guy Ronald picking it up. I started to laugh a bit and told him to drop the leather beetle or he’d regret it. After a while he started whingeing about feeling his skin itching. I know from experience what it feels like and the only thing I can think of to describe something similar at home is when you get the fibre glass from the insulating material in your attic on your skin. It itches like hell and is really irritating. Ironically just like my mate Ronald! We tracked some Zebra and Giraffe and we got to within 5 metres of a baby Giraffe and her mother. Of course that wasn’t close enough for Ronald and he wanted to get closer. He scared them off then and I told him that there were loads of snakes around where he was walking and with that he finally paid attention! He gave me a tip in the end which I was told to share with my tracker Robbie. The tip was 50 Rand which in Euro’s is about 4 quid. Nice one Ronnie!
Tracking
I went out tracking with an Afrikaans guy called Ulaf. He drives in “Big 5,” reserves for a living. We went into Thornybush which borders our reserve and we saw the Lion pride that had taken down the Buffalo beside the fence a couple of days before. It was pretty cool to be sitting within 4 metres of a pride of Lions on the tracker seat. Not to mention exhilarating. The auld heart was pumping when the eyes fix on you! We continued on and we later found a herd of Elephants. This was even better as the Ele’s walked right by me. I could have reached out and touched them if I wanted to! They were nice and relaxed though. I got a couple of cool video’s. I was a little concerned when I saw a big Bull coming swaggering down the road though but he avoided us completely. Apparently the biggest Bull in the reserve had given him a bit of a hiding the day before and he was feeling a little bit sorry for himself. The guy Ulaf is a typical big mountainy Afrikaaner. He’s into his rugby so I was slagging him about the Lions coming out in June and giving the Springboks a bit of a pasting. The poor fella had a dose of the skuts and he had to use the bush toilet a couple of times while we were on the drive! When we got back to the lodge he asked could he use our toilet and I told him of course. I was busy looking after the guests and getting them a few drinks when I ran into Claude(The owner) near the kitchen. He was in hysterics laughing saying that Ulaf was still in the jax! I had the idea of taking off in his game vehicle to see how fast he’d be coming out of the toilet with his pants down around his ankles but I decided on discretion at this early stage of our relationship! It was a funny end to the night though!
I had a couple from Rotterdam the other day. I brought them out on a game drive in the morning and then on to Moholoholo in the afternoon. The guy was a pain in the arse from the start. He wouldn’t listen to me about standing up in the vehicle and when I got off the vehicle to see a beautiful female Rhino and calf he started walking towards them with his video camera and scared them off! Meanwhile it started belting down with rain and the enjoyment soon seeped away from the trip. We saw some beautiful birds and antelope but Ronald from Rotterdam only wanted to see the big stuff! This attitude continued for the whole drive and then when I drove them to Moholoholo(a rehabilitation centre for animals) he wouldn’t listen to the guide there and kept holding the guide up at different stages.
I had had enough of him at this stage but I had to drive him back to the lodge and then sit with him for dinner. He also had this hair brained scheme that he brought over a set of soccer jerseys from his son’s team that he wanted to donate to the “orphans,” in the local village. He expected me to organise a photocall with him giving the orphans the jerseys. I told him that the orphans in the village would probably be too small for his gift considering they are all either babies or a couple of years old. I suppose the intention was good but I think he just liked the idea of seeing himself in a picture with some poor black kids.
The next day the same vein continued. I brought him and his wife on a game walk and I decided at that stage after he kept me waiting for 15 minutes for the second morning in a row to play with him a bit. I showed him a couple of insects and then he thought he could go and pick up whatever he saw on the ground. At one stage I saw this caterpillar like insect. I’ve seen plenty of them before and they’re actually a beetle larvae. They look really hairy and not very dangerous looking so next thing I see this guy Ronald picking it up. I started to laugh a bit and told him to drop the leather beetle or he’d regret it. After a while he started whingeing about feeling his skin itching. I know from experience what it feels like and the only thing I can think of to describe something similar at home is when you get the fibre glass from the insulating material in your attic on your skin. It itches like hell and is really irritating. Ironically just like my mate Ronald! We tracked some Zebra and Giraffe and we got to within 5 metres of a baby Giraffe and her mother. Of course that wasn’t close enough for Ronald and he wanted to get closer. He scared them off then and I told him that there were loads of snakes around where he was walking and with that he finally paid attention! He gave me a tip in the end which I was told to share with my tracker Robbie. The tip was 50 Rand which in Euro’s is about 4 quid. Nice one Ronnie!
Tracking
I went out tracking with an Afrikaans guy called Ulaf. He drives in “Big 5,” reserves for a living. We went into Thornybush which borders our reserve and we saw the Lion pride that had taken down the Buffalo beside the fence a couple of days before. It was pretty cool to be sitting within 4 metres of a pride of Lions on the tracker seat. Not to mention exhilarating. The auld heart was pumping when the eyes fix on you! We continued on and we later found a herd of Elephants. This was even better as the Ele’s walked right by me. I could have reached out and touched them if I wanted to! They were nice and relaxed though. I got a couple of cool video’s. I was a little concerned when I saw a big Bull coming swaggering down the road though but he avoided us completely. Apparently the biggest Bull in the reserve had given him a bit of a hiding the day before and he was feeling a little bit sorry for himself. The guy Ulaf is a typical big mountainy Afrikaaner. He’s into his rugby so I was slagging him about the Lions coming out in June and giving the Springboks a bit of a pasting. The poor fella had a dose of the skuts and he had to use the bush toilet a couple of times while we were on the drive! When we got back to the lodge he asked could he use our toilet and I told him of course. I was busy looking after the guests and getting them a few drinks when I ran into Claude(The owner) near the kitchen. He was in hysterics laughing saying that Ulaf was still in the jax! I had the idea of taking off in his game vehicle to see how fast he’d be coming out of the toilet with his pants down around his ankles but I decided on discretion at this early stage of our relationship! It was a funny end to the night though!
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