Home Sweet Home

I arrived back safe and sound from Swaziland after driving for the guts of eight hours. It was good to be back in the college and see the animals again. It felt comfortable and like I was returning to old friends. That's a strange statement but true. I got an unpleasant surprise though when I got back to my room.

I couldn't find my key for the room and Special One had left the day before. A little breaking and entering was called for. I jimmied the window open and nearly fell flat on my face while banging off the sink! I survived that scare and started to unpack. It was only then that I realised that the key for the room was bundled up in a pair of dirty socks!

I looked for the stuff I had left in the room but it was all gone. Not good! I thought initially the lads next door were winding me up but after some intensive questioning I realised that they were innocent. The cleaners had helped themselves to all my gear! There was loads of stuff in the box. They even took my Leprechaun green hat! What the ? I needed a stiff drink to calm the nerves. It really annoyed me to think that for the last 6 months they had been really decent and then they fall at the last hurdle. I haranged Mama Maria the next morning and to say she was shocked to see me was a bit of an understatement. She thought I was gone and had left all the gear! The box contained loads of presents and even a pair of Nikon Binoculars! I think she thought Christmas had really come early. Luckily enough though she came back that evening with all the gear. Thanks be to Jaysus. Anyway with that weight off my shoulders I decided to go out with the lads.

We went for one last shin dig in a boozer called In Da Bosh(In the Bush ) where myself Hank and Pretty Boy met the lads from the snake park. A good night ensued and I decided to take it easy. I had to go and talk to the people where I am doing my placement in January. There was no point having a melted welly head on me when I went there.

Then off to the airport and a 36 hour journey home.

Welcome to Dublin, the outside air temperature is 3 degree's and it's belting down with rain! Lovely, lets get some scoops!!!! I'm back over to Africa before the end of the year.

One week


Exit Swaziland

So the guy at the border thought I was Icelandic. That’s a new one. He didn’t know where Ireland was so he just nodded and smiled and he still probably thinks I’m Icelandic. He probably doesn’t know where that is either. He seemed to be a bit bored but he was actually good craic. He asked me had I anything to declare like guns or cattle or anything like that in the back of “Fixer.” Well I heard him right about the gun but he actually said kettle and not cattle. I had borrowed James’s kettle for the week so he was referring to that. I told him I could declare it if he liked but he said that it was probably old. I’d say to be honest it was as old as his good self as he didn’t even look like he was shaving. He waved me on regardless with a bit of a grin and “hey presto,” I’m back in South Africa. I drove for the day to get down to St Lucia. This is on the East Coast just down from where we were in Mozambique in October. There’s a great current called the Benguela current which brings a rich source of food for all marine life along the coast. You can see the Whale migration and it has an abundance of big fish like Marlin, Yellow fin Tuna, Sailfish and Whale Sharks. I went down there to see if I could go out deep sea fishing.



St Lucia

We went out for a morning deep sea fishing expedition. It was myself, Katherine and a father and son combo from South Africa. The sea was rough and I didn’t take to the fishing at all. I looked as green as the Irish Flag and it didn’t make for great enthusiasm from my part. Katherine caught the first big line fish of the day. A massive Queen Mackerel. I’d say it must have weighed in at about 3 KG’s. We actually made steaks out of it later that night and Braai’d it. I can tell you it tasted beautiful. Mr. Ramsey would have been proud of it!

As I started to recover after getting rid of my breakfast over the side things started to slow down on the biting front. We started to fish on the reef and we picked up some nice Rock Cod. I even caught a few. I was getting myself back together at this stage. It was funny though because Katherine was talking about how well she handles the sea and that she never pukes. I was kind of dozing off at one stage and I heard this hurling noise from close to me. It just happened to be the aforementioned loosing her breakfast over the side. It was very funny. The Afrikaner’s son was next. I was waiting for the Captain to spew but I didn’t get the result on that one. Just as we were heading back to land, we caught a big one on one of the lines. We had to reel the rest of the lines in for fear of getting them tangled up and then the Afrikaners Dad started to pull in a big whopper. I caught a glimpse of it as it jumped out of the water about 25 metres from us. It was an enormous sail fish. The fastest fish in the sea and here we were hauling one in! It took him about 15 minutes struggling with the fish until he was eventually close enough to pull on board. I’ve attached a photo of the monster. He was beautiful. I’d love to go back and have another crack at it after that but I’d need to bring the auld sea legs with me!

On the way home that evening we were told that there were Hippos on the main street. Hippos are responsible for the most deaths of people in South Africa and here they were just walking down the street. We gave them a wide berth.

Myself, Katherine and Laura decided to go to the National Park down the road from where we were staying. It’s got the biggest population of Rhino in the World. We drove through the gate and by the time we were leaving we had seen 11 Rhino. It was amazing. They are such great animals but that wasn’t the best sighting of the day. We spotted a Big Male Elephant on the hillside and there just so happened to be a view point and road that we could drive up to get closer to him. We parked on the road and let him come to us. At one stage he got so close that I had to wind up my window because I thought he was going to put his trunk through. He touched the Bull bar of the car and gave a little shrug of the head but was mainly relaxed. It was amazing. There aren’t too many times in your life that you will get within 5 feet of an adult male Elephant and live to tell the tale. The best thing about it was though that we were completely on our own. We spent about 20 minutes just watching and it was exhilarating. On the way back to St Lucia though I got the fright of my life when we coming into the town. This lunatic was running on the white line in the middle of the road at night with a couple of bags in his hands. We nearly hit him. I don’t know what he was running from but I guess he was scared of the Hippo’s on either side of the road. It was freaky though because he was really close to being iced by me instead of the hippo!

Hostel livin

The hostels over here are really bad value compared to Oz. They generally aren’t cheap and all of the ones that I have been in have been very run down. These are actually the recommended ones in the guide books so God only knows what the other ones are like. I did enjoy the character that some of them have though. An example is a place called Bibs in St Lucia. They have a number of pets who knock about the place. This particular one was a little Jack Russell dog. He was very friendly and actually scared away the Hippo’s at one stage when they tried to come into the camp site. Brave little fella. Anyway to cut a long story short, I was staying in a dorm room with 3 other beds. I moved in the first night and the Ozzy guy that was there told me that the door handle doesn’t work from the inside so that if the door closed you’d have to jump thro the window to get out of the room. Now the Ozzy was telling me this because I had put my stuff down on the bed nearest the window. I moved my gear obviously away from the window. He moved out the next morning without incident but during the night, I heard some strange rustling noises. I didn’t know what they were so I fell back to sleep. In the morning when I woke up the little Jack Russell had snuck into the room and made a grand little nest for himself in my bag! The only concern for me was that he was constantly scratching himself. Off to the Laundromat with all my gear that day!! The other funny thing was that I told the next guy who came into the room about the problem with the door. It only dawned on me on day 3 that I should really tell the reception about the door and not continuously pass on the info about the dodgy door to any new person. I guess it’s the backpacker mentality of easy goingness!


I was supposed to go down further South from St Lucia but time was against me. We decided to head north again and see if we could see some Turtles. The Turtles in question are both Loggerheads and Leatherbacks. The biggest in the World. We went to a really remote place called Mbibi. You need a four wheel drive to go there but I was determined to give Fixer another chance at tackling sand so we persevered. It was great craic this time because I didn’t have to worry about anyone else in the car and I had all the tricks this time like lowering the Tyre pressure etc. We got to our destination really easily and put up our tents. It was a stunning place. We had the practically to ourselves. The only place I’ve been to that compares is Whitehaven beach in Oz. This beach had a reef with loads of fish for snorkeling and when I went for a run there weren’t any other footprints on the beach. It was savage. We went down that evening to try and see if we could spot any Turtle tracks and after about 2 klicks of walking we found a beautiful Leatherback. She was laying her eggs as well. It was really cool. A vehicle had actually found her with 6 guests on board. They probably all paid 600 quid to go and see this phenomenon and we paid 20 and walked to it. It was magic. I couldn’t believe the size of her. She was about 1.5 metres in length and must easily have weighed 3 or 4 hundred kilo’s. It was a lot of weight to have to haul up the beach and we were delighted to see that she is continuing that ancient tradition on our beach!

Last exam

Well the studying is finally over folks. We did our last exam on Saturday and it was based on dangerous game. I’m hoping to pass it and that’ll be me officially qualified to lead walks and drives. It’s been a great six months and it’s actually flown by. I never thought I’d see the day that I’m a little sad that I won’t be doing any more exams! We celebrated our unofficial finish in style. Our Yank friend made a, I suppose you’d call it presentation with all the pictures and video’s she’s taken over the last 6 months. She added some soppy music and hey presto, you have an entertaining 50 minutes. One of the lads, Kevin “Left B”, even said that we’d be weeping by the end of it. I had to add a pinch of salt to that statement considering he had been drinking from 10 AM that morning! As they said it would bring a tear to a glass eye. I headed off for my informal interview with the lodge that I’ll be working for in January. It went well and I’m looking forward to giving it a shot in January. I might even do my level two exams in March. Em we’ll see!

Camping in Kruger

I headed off on Sunday to do a bit of camping in Kruger. I know now that I am officially not a very good camper. It’s nothing to do with pitching the tent. I’ve always been able to do that (no wise cracks) but when it comes to actually being able to sleep for a night on the ground. Not a chance. I’m like a zombie walking around because no matter what I do it doesn’t seem to suit me. I don’t know if any of you are insomniac’s but I know how it feels now. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Braai part and a few beers and setting everything up but when it comes to the actual putting the head down and getting some shut eye I just can’t. I’ve even used ear plugs and one of those eye things that you used to get off Aer Lingus for flying. No joy! At least I’ll be able to put the head down when I get to Swaziland. I’m going to book a nice bed, with a headboard and mattress!

Another Country

This is my third country in Africa. It feels like I’m cheating here mind you. Swaziland and Lesotho are both in South Africa but they are separate countries with Kings ruling them and you have to cross the border to get into them. It’s a nice place so far. It feels a lot more rural than SA. There aren’t as many white people here either so you kind of feel like you’re in Mozambique. I went for a bush walk today and was able to get up close to some cool animals. I enjoy that more than the vehicles where you feel like you’re not really experiencing natural behaviour in it’s purest form. It’s amazing how the animals react differently to perceived threats. When I’m in the car they don’t even bat an eyelid whereas when I’m on foot they are very nervous and skittish. They snort to let all the other animals know I’m there and it’s a really effective defensive technique. It’s always a good idea in Africa to watch where the animals are looking because it usually means a predator is around. I kept that in mind when I was walking but it was great. I have to say though, try walking five miles up and down hills in 35 degree heat.

Bye Bye Special

Well it was the end of the road for myself and “Special One,” as roommates before I left on Sunday. He is going off travelling so it was with a mixture of relief and no regrets that I bid him adieu! The really strange thing is that he is going for a job in the dangerous reptile and snake park. He will probably end up getting the job too and he’ll be handling Mamba’s!! Yikes!

Reptiles

Reptiles

The lads next door to me who’s nicknames are “Pretty Boy,” and “Left Bollock,” are always messing about and trying to take the piss out of me so I decided to get my own back. Now when I say I decided to get my own back I mean that I would come up with a plan. I didn’t foresee the actual plan coming together but a flash of inspiration and an unlucky Rock Monitor settled the issue.

Rock Monitors as I have already found out are crafty little buggers and are slight of hand. I mean they will scrape you with your claws or bite you and won’t let go. They are the Pit bulls of the Lizard World and their bite will probably get infected because there are not exactly picky eaters! I had actually captured one when I did my dangerous snake handling course. He tried to bite me as well but I actually avoided his mouth but clocked a tree and some Acacia thorns instead. Not something I wanted to repeat.

To make a long story short. I was sitting in the back garden reading my book and minding my own business when a big Rock Monitor came lobbing along through the long grass in the back garden. (It’s not really a garden in the conventional sense)

The idea I had was to jump on it and hold onto it until I could cart him through my room and out to the door of the lad’s room that stay next door to me. The first part of the plan went well and I jumped on him and he missed me with his tail slashing. These can be quite painful as well. He tried to bite me and was making a great hissing sound. I would have scared a predator I’d imagine but not good auld Headlock. I carried the little monster through my room where my room mate “Special One,” was sitting on his bed watching another episode of Mash with his earphones in. He didn’t even notice the Monitor in my hand. Out the door with me and around the corner. All the while the Monitor was jiggling and hissing and generally making an awful racket. I got to the door and pushed the handle down ready to fling my captive onto the floor in the room and scare the shite out of the lads. Well of course the lads weren’t bleedin in and I’m standing there like a spare with a struggling Rock Monitor in my hand. I couldn’t believe my bad luck as the lads would normally be in at this time. Anyway as I’m cursing my luck the little fecker decides to do his party trick. What’s that you ask? Well not only does he hiss, blow up his stomach, scratch you with razor sharp claws or bite you with his potty mouth but he also has the biggest dump of all time all over me. I can’t even explain the stench from him as I’m feeling quesy just thinking about it but suffice to say it wasn’t pleasant. I’m standing on the porch of their room with a Rock Monitor in my hand and covered in shite! Pretty funny to be honest and next thing who pops around the corner? James “Pretty Boy,” Slade with a look of bewilderment on his face. Oh I forgot to say, I let go of the Monitor when he shat on me for obvious reasons so it’s a great defensive strategy. I regale the story to a doubled over audience. The joke was most definitely on me!



Playing with Scorpions.
I was looking through my books the other night and trying to sort out my gear as the end is getting near here. I pulled one book out from the corner and I see a little bit of movement in the corner of my eye. I investigate a bit further as you’ve gotta do over here and I find a big Scorpion ready to give me a little nip. I’ve posted a picture of him for you to look at. Another successful capture and release by team Tigertamer!

Life in the slow lane

“Gone fishin, how you know? Cause there’s a sign upon the door.”

Myself and the Scot Kevin “Left Bollock,” McCulloch went fishing for Rainbow Trout today. It was a great day out. We didn’t fly fish as we were fishing in a lake but it was great craic nonetheless. The water was pretty murky and the fishing was pretty easy to be honest. I think there’s an old expression about shooting fish in a barrel. Well that would have been appropriate. We didn’t even need the dynamite the Kev brought with him just in case!

This year has been a first in many respects and today I landed and cooked my first Trout. All in the day cost us a tenner and that was for 7 fish. I’d say you would pay top dollar for a meal like that in Dublin and we paid less than the price of two pints. Don’t know how much Mellon Balls is charging in the Palace nowadays but I think we got better value for money either way! We cooked the fish in foil on a Braai with a little butter, some lemon sides and a little salt and pepper. It was amazing. The meat literally fell off the bones for us and we both agreed that it had been our best ever tasting fish.



Walking with Lions (Well Lion Cubs anyway)


“Fixer,” rang me to tell me that Moholoholo the animal rehab centre had gotten their hands on 2 abandoned Lion Cubs (Duma and Tembi). “Fixer,” (Moses from my class) works there and he reckoned we could go and see them. Well this would be a once in a life time chance to go and see if we could spend some time with them. I arranged to go in the morning and it ended up being a great day out. At first the General Manager was reluctant to let us in to see them but we eventually got the nod and we spent about a half an hour with them. They were beautiful and it was amazing how like the adults they are. The claws are so well developed already and I have a nice few scrapes as reminders of my encounter. They are teething at the moment and biting everything but you’ve got to scold them just like dogs and teach them not to bite. (For obvious reasons)

I can see why Born Free, the film was such an inspiration for many all those years ago. I’ll never forget my brief encounter and I hope the two males grow up and have a happy life. Unfortunately they’ll probably never see the wilds of Africa but at least they’ve been given a chance for a life. I bumped into, or rather Jabu (The abandoned baby White Rhino) bumped into me as well in the park. I had seen him about 3 weeks previously when Alex was over. He’s grown a lot bigger now and he has a lot more energy. He is beautiful and very innocent at the moment. He is so inquisitive unlike his mate Mkumbi who is a bit more chilled out and was taking a snooze when I was there. Jabu was tasting my shoes and my new pants. It’s amazing to think that he will grow to be over 2 tonnes in weight over the next 20 years. I don’t think you’d like to get bumped by him when he’s older! Another amazing experience in Africa. Dublin Zoo eat your heart out!

Like Dublin Bus

They say that everything comes in three’s. I’m beginning to think the old expression has more and more substance as I get older. 3 Wild Dog sightings in three days. We hadn’t seen a single dog for four and a half months. It’s a bit strange all the same. The sighting the other day was amazing. I had to stop the car on the way to Kruger for a big Bull Elephant and then a Wild Dog. In the middle of the road. Unlike Louis at home however, these dogs actually have a bit of cop on and get off the road if they see a car coming. Not that they moved very far. They just plopped themselves down at the side of the road and took an auld snooze. Sure it was seven O’clock and they had probably been up since half four!

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, another surprise pops up. We were on our way out of the College when we see 3 Giraffe( Tower of Giraffe ) munching on an old Buffalo carcass. Now I’ve read about this phenomenon known as osteophagia in books but didn’t think I’d see it from ten metres and so close to home! We were actually on our way out for the day when this happened. We were going out on a drive to the Panorama route. I don’t think that SA has the unique title to a Panorama route as I think myself and the Quirke went on one down south around Melbourne direction in Oz a good few years ago. I think they call it the same thing. There are the 12 Apostles and 3 sisters and a few other aptly named rock structures. Well SA has the 3 Rondavels. They are quite scenic actually. We continued on to see another look out point called God’s window but unfortunately God didn’t have the window wipers on today. We couldn’t see a thing as there was a thick mass of mist at the top of the mountain. We did offer to keep Gods window clean but no one was listening!

We headed off back in the direction of home but we came upon an interesting sign for a place called Echo Caves. We went in to reception and a surprised and confused guy in reception asked us “You actually want to see the Caves?” The omens were bad! A lady called Victoria offered to show us around. She was quite a good guide. Aside from the fact that she would intermittently snort like a Warthog. I was waiting for her to hock one up! I think it’s an African thing as some of the lads in our class do it as well. It was a first though to hear a girl doing it and obviously the auld sound resonance in the caves didn’t help her cause! As I said already, she was quite entertaining with her simplified version of the momentous events that led to the discovery of the caves. I’ll leave that till another day. She did point out the “Bat shit,” to us though and told us that it was “very dirty.” As we moved through the cave she did point out a piece of rock that looked like a face of someone with a beard. She suggested to us that it could be “Bin Laden.” She also told us earlier that she was bringing a bus load of tourists from Iran down to the chambers later on that afternoon. I forgot to tell her not to use the Bin Laden joke with them!

How to catch breakfast

At last we got it.

It’s taken the guts of five months but eventually we see Wild Dogs on the college grounds. And boy what a sight. After getting up at four O'Clock and all the whingeing and moaning that goes with the unearthly hour. It proved to be worth the effort. We had just stopped to clear some trees that an inconsiderate! Elephant had knocked down into our path when we heard a yelping sound. Danielle was just off the tracker seat and we all yelled in unison, “Wild Dog!” I think she got a good fright and hopped back onto the seat.

There is a documentary series produced by the BBC called Planet Earth. Now this documentary series is in one word “amazing.” In one episode based in Africa the team tries to shoot a scene of Wild Dogs hunting. It can be notoriously difficult because for the most part the dogs hunt at such a pace and they generally hunt through inhospitable terrain where most vehicles can’t follow. The BBC used a helicopter to try and catch the hunt. They actually filmed unsuccessfully for nearly two weeks without getting the shots and then suddenly they had it. One morning everything just clicked for them. It gives you an idea about how difficult it can be to either find them and of course to see them in hunting mode.

Our photos and video came and fell into our lap! We had spotted their spoor about a kilometre back on a game path. It looked quite fresh and the other group had been lucky enough to see four dogs in the area the day before. Then suddenly a big Alpha Male Wild Dog brought down an Impala right in front of our eyes. The Impala were running and stotting for their lives in front of us. The other members of the pack continued on with the chase and probably caught another Impala further along. We wouldn’t have been able to chase the rest of the group but luckily for us we didn’t have to. The female Impala was torn to shreds in front of us. It turns out that she was pregnant and the foetus was quite well developed. I guess its nature at its cruelest. The Wild Dogs have been described as the most efficient carnivores on the continent. They have a success rate on each hunt of well over 60 per cent which when you compare to the bigger cats is phenomenal. Lions for example only succeed in about 20 % of their hunts. We sat there as the male tucked into his bounty. He wolfed down as much of the innards as he could and then just as suddenly as he shown up he was gone. They have an acute sense of hearing and maybe he could hear danger approaching. We sat there in awe of what we had just seen. There was a nervous excitement rippling through the group and then we heard the unmistakable roars of Lions. We listened intently for a few minutes and heard them roaring from not that far away to our East. Suddenly as we were watching the abandoned carcass from a safe distance a flash of tawny coloured fur appeared to rip the carcass from the ground and drag it along the ground. It was a female Lion that had just sprinted out of the brush. I don’t know if the commotion of the kill had given the position away or the smell from the very fresh carcass but it took her less than ten minutes to locate the dead Impala.

Unfortunately as we were about to turn and go back and watch the scavenged carcass, another vehicle arrived. It was the Ngala reserve camp vehicle with 3 guests on board. They couldn’t possibly have tracked the dogs so well as to just come upon the scene so we reckoned it was just pot luck. The bored looking guests were in for a nice surprise but we had to leave the scene. I suppose we had been lucky to see the Wild Dog but it was tinged with a slight feeling of regret that we couldn’t watch the Lioness eat her bounty. It would have made the day even more special but I guess we should be happy with a very rare and unique moment!

In da Bush

We spent 4 nights out in the Bush. Now this was proper bush. We camped on a dry river bed and had to have night watches for Lions, Leopards, Hyaena’s and Elephants. It was pretty cool and we went on long walks during the days. We came across loads of dead carcasses along the river bank and at one point we literally stumpled onto a fresh Kudo kill. The animal hadn’t even been preyed upon yet so it would just literally have been killed. It was some adrenalin buzz and that was definitely the highlight for me. I prefer the walking part of the experience because you can stop and listen for sounds without having an annoying diesel engine in the background and obviously you are at eye level with everything and it makes things more real. We also did our assessment for our rifle accuracy and I missed my test by 2 points. The auld cross eyed ness definitely caught up with me on this occasion. It was a great experience though to shoot such high calibre rifles. We were shooting a .458 this time which is pretty big. There was a savage kick back from it and one of the girls knocked herself off her feet with one shot early on. That was pretty funny.




Chimp Eden

We took a trip down to a place called Chimp Eden on Monday. Our friend the Yank wanted to see the place as she wants to work there. She only wants to work there because there is a programme on Animal Planet in the States set there and it’s really popular. It was a good way to spend the day and the Chimps have been rescued from all manner of cruelty in their previous lives. Most of the entrance fee goes to Chimp rescue so it was good to be able to contribute. Jane Goodall runs the project and they’ve successfully rescued over 100 Chimps at this stage so it’s been a great success. The funniest moment of the day had to be when the lady at the reception asked me whether “Special One,” was over 14! The guy is 25! I told her that he was my son!

Small World


It’s a small World. We had a bit of a blow out on Saturday night and we felt a bit the worse for wear on Sunday. Myself and Pretty Boy left the reserve with the lads. The two South African lads at the other campus gave us a lift in their Pajero to Hoedspruit. We hoped to get a taxi on to the college and bed after. Jason the guy driving thinks he’s a formula one rally driver. He flew us to Hoedspruit in extra fast time. I don’t think the Pajero at home would be able for him. He ripped the living shite out of the thing. Pardon the French! We got a taxi half way and had to try and hitch the rest of the way. We were there for a good while as loads of cars passed us by. In fairness we weren’t looking at our best after 5 days in the bush and one on the razz so I can’t blame anyone for not stopping. Eventually though a car pulled over. A father and son that were heading a bit of the way. It was better than nothing so we took the lift and got chatting. It turns out that the younger fella was home for a holiday while his father lives in the area. I asked him where he was living and to my surprise he said Guernsey reserve. That’s where myself and Alex stayed for her holiday. One thing leads into another and it turns out that he actually owned the lodge we stayed at and lives in another house on the reserve. I had been talking about the guy to Tom the field guide in Pezulu Lodge when I was there. The guy seemed really sound and he was talking about his micro lighting business. It turns out that I’m supposed to go to that lodge in January on my placement.



Don’t give that man a gun!

Well folks, it’s official. I am legally competent to operate a rifle in South Africa. We did our theory test today. We are approved by the Safety authority of South Africa. My SA experience gets funnier every day. We went to take the test today and we were given our test papers and then the registrar gives us all the answers. So people have been slagging me about my last test result of 92%. Well in this one lads I got a guaranteed 100%! I knew it was gonna happen at some stage but didn’t realize it would take me till my thirties to get it. Oh and Steve (Peanut trading Keating) it wasn’t “multiple choice.”

You gotta love this country. It’s full of comical moments. One of the questions in the test was how long is immediately. No you didn’t read that wrong but officially in South Africa according to the government, immediately means “by the end of the next normal working business day.” That’s what we had to write down for the answer. Sometimes I think that we’re actually efficient in Ireland!

Man eating Elephants!

Driving test queue Take 3!!!

I went up to Graskop again on Thursday night stroke Friday morning to make a booking for my driving test. We arrived to the test centre at 8 PM on the Thursday night with sleeping bags en tow. There were 4 people ahead of us so it seemed we were in luck. That meant that we would be 5 and 6 in the queue. We settled down for what was for me to be a sleepless night. The local lads didn’t shut until 2 am and then the snoring started. Add to that the drone of mozzies and you get an idea of what it was like to settle in. The local lads woke at 5 am as well so there wasn’t much sleep to be had. The test centre opened at a quarter to eight. So by the time things started to happen at the centre, we had been queuing for over 12 hours. Unfortunately there weren’t any cheap holidays or bargains to be got at the end of it!

A couple of guys arrived at just after seven at the centre and I started to get an ominous feeling that we were going to be shafted again. They started to make phone calls and the supervisor who we had seen turn away people the other day made contact with them before he took in the 7 people in the queue. I wasn’t very happy about that at the time and as he started to let people in through the gate he stopped me to look at my papers. He told me that they weren’t the right ones for this test centre and let the other two guys in behind me. I was livid as you can imagine but this is Africa and unfortunately these things happen all the time. At least “Fixer,” or “Lack of Fixing as I call him now,” was allowed to book his test for next week. I’m back to square one and am at the stage where I couldn’t be arsed with it any more. I’ll deal with the consequences down the line.

Our Librarian Laura was having a going away party on the Friday night and it was a fancy dress party. I wasn’t really in the humour for it after the waste of time the night before but I snapped myself out of the bad vibe when I saw some of the costumes that people were wearing. It was a great night and I’ve attached some great pics!

We went to an Elephant sanctuary today and were able to lead two Elephants and feed them by hand. It was a wicked experience. They are such gentle giants and I can’t emphasize the word Giant enough. It’s a lucky thing that Elephants aren’t carnivores or we’d be in trouble.